“What if the answer wasn’t more control… but more connection?”
There was a time when I couldn’t eat without counting.
Not just calories, but grams, portions, carbs, minutes between meals.
If I wasn’t planning food, I was avoiding it.
And if I wasn’t avoiding it, I was punishing myself for it.
Recovery asked something far scarier than rules:
➔ It asked me to listen to my body.
At first, I didn’t know how.
What is intuitive eating, and why is it so hard in recovery?
Intuitive eating is often misunderstood as “just eat what you want.”
But when you’re recovering from an eating disorder, that can feel impossible.
Years of food anxiety, restriction, bingeing, and guilt can cloud your hunger and fullness signals. You’re not being dramatic or broken; it’s neuroscience.
When we under-eat, our brain’s hypothalamus (the part that regulates hunger and satiety) starts to misfire.
Chronic restriction increases cortisol (the stress hormone) and reduces interoception, our ability to notice what’s happening inside our body.
So when someone says “just eat when you’re hungry,” your brain might genuinely say: I don’t know what that means anymore.
Story: The moment my therapist asked the question that cracked me open
I remember sitting in therapy, trying to explain how I was doing everything right.
Meal plans. Running. Controlling everything. Being “on it.”
Then she asked me something I wasn’t expecting:
“Who’s there with your children?”
I was livid.
Of course I was there.
Wasn’t I keeping everything together?
But I wasn’t present.
I was physically in the room and mentally consumed by food.
What I would eat.
What I wouldn’t eat.
When I would next eat.
How to burn it off.
How guilty I’d feel after.
Her words stuck.
Recovery is not about perfection. It’s about presence.
Coping Strategies to Reconnect with Your Body and Food
If you’re navigating recovery and feeling like you’ve lost touch with your body, start small:
➔ 1. Pause Before a Meal
Ask yourself:
- What does my body feel like right now?
- Am I hungry? Am I tired? Am I anxious?
This isn’t about fixing anything. It’s about noticing.
➔ 2. Check In While Eating
Halfway through your meal, check in:
- How is this food making me feel?
- Do I like this taste or texture?
- Am I eating fast or slow?
This helps rebuild interoceptive awareness, the part of the brain that recognises hunger, fullness, and comfort.
➔ 3. Gentle Movement (Not Punishment)
Do one thing today that’s movement for care, not control.
- A walk around the block
- Hanging up laundry
- Stretching to music
This helps reset your parasympathetic nervous system, the “rest and digest” response that often shuts down during stress and restriction.
➔ 4. Anchor with Affirmations
When your mind spirals with food anxiety, gently respond:
- “I am allowed to nourish myself.”
- “Food is not the enemy.”
- “I deserve to feel safe in my body.”
Why presence matters more than perfection in recovery
So many clients tell me:
“I don’t feel like I’m really here.”
That’s not you being flaky or avoidant. That’s your nervous system protecting you.
When we’re under-fuelled, our prefrontal cortex (the logical, present part of the brain) goes offline.
Our body goes into survival mode.
It’s no wonder so many of us in recovery feel foggy, disconnected, zoned out, or self-absorbed.
But presence is something you can rebuild.
Intuitive eating is the opposite of self-absorption; it’s self-awareness.
Noticing the hunger. Noticing the fullness.
Noticing the emotions that used to be numbed by controlling food.
Final Thoughts: Try asking this today
Next time you sit down to eat, ask:
“How do I want to feel afterwards?”
This one question shifts food from something to fear
➔ to something to feel through.
You don’t have to be perfect at intuitive eating.
You just have to be curious.
And kind.
Recovery starts there.
Want more like this?
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A bit about me:
I’m Becky Stone, a qualified eating disorder therapist based in the UK. I work with both teens and adults, offering a calm and non-judgmental space to explore what recovery truly mean, on your terms. With a background in supporting people through anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, and body image struggles, I know how complex and personal this journey can be. My work is shaped by both professional training and personal experience, which enables me to connect with clients in a genuine and down-to-earth way. I specialise in supporting neurodivergent individuals, including those with ADHD and autism, and I believe in flexible, shame-free recovery.
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